Dehydration: The Untold Plight of Mothers Everywhere

Everyone knows the old wisdom about new moms and sleep.

Sleep derivation is the most common side effect of becoming a new mother. Pregnant women and parents of new borns hear it all of the time, "You'll never sleep again!"

And that's true, for a few months.

But unless you have just a terrible sleeper, by the time your child is a few months old you will eventually get back to sleeping for 6-8 hour stretches.

But what they don't tell you, what people never talk about, is the dehydration.

If you're preparing to welcome a child into your home, be prepared to suffer through years and years of a life without hydration.

It starts before your baby is even born, with frequent trips to the bathroom. That little soccer player is practicing dribbles on your bladder and you are lucky to retain so much as an ounce of water between your hourly bathroom breaks.

Then, once you deliver the baby(ies), they suck the life out of you. Literally. You have to drink gallons of water to keep your milk supply up to their constant feeding demands. For every ounce of water you drink, your baby is going to be sucking two out of you. (That's not entirely medical but based on my experience nursing four kids, I'm going to say that it's pretty close). You can NOT get enough to drink.

And that's just the first year. You might think it's all water and coffee from here, but you're wrong. You're just so, so wrong.

Because, let's be real, there's not a mother on the planet who actually gets to pour and drink an entire cup of hot coffee. Snagging sips of luke-warm and cold coffee between diaper changes and food spills is your new norm, if you're lucky.

But let's forget the coffee, since, although it is the elixir of life, it'll technically dehydrate you and this post is about the unspoken maternal struggle of dehydration.

Your kid is one, and you've stopped breastfeeding. Think you're gonna finally be able to enjoy some refreshing water in peace?

Bless your heart.

Your kid is one now, which means he can and will pull up on any surface in your house. Which means your cup is not safe. Anywhere.

The coffee table, which would maybe be the obvious choice to you since you're hanging out with your kid in the living room, is also their favorite cruising surface. If you put a drink of the coffee table, they will knock it over.

What about tall tables, you ask? You mean the one that has those nice, long legs your kid can shake like a maniac? Yea, sure, put your cup there. But they're going to knock it over.

Your drink is not safe.

"Well surely after they don't need to pull up on things to get around they won't knock over my cup?"

No, they might not knock it over (they totally still will). But with their new found dexterity comes to freedom for their grubby little paws to be open and available to lift said cup and guzzle down whatever beverage you've poured for yourself. I dare you to leave your cup unattended while there is a three year old in the room. You'll come back to an empty cup and a hydrated toddler.

Meanwhile, your skin is parched and your mouth is like sandpaper due to years and years of dehydration.

Is it any wonder with conditions like these that when we do get a chance to quench our thirst, we reach for the wine bottle instead of the water bottle?!

Which, of course, doesn't do a lot in the way of re-hydration.

So new mothers everywhere, you have been warned.

You might want to register for a spill-proof water bottle...and a corkscrew.