I Blame It On My Husband
And by "it" we all know I mean anything I can pin on the poor sucker. In this case, it's the fact that I haven't blogged in over a month. You see, for once it wasn't my abysmal ability to try and keep up any one piece of writing for longer than a week. (I have found more than one childhood diary that in the span of a couple of pages documented in painstaking detail my dinner menu from one night in 4th grade to an entry of unrequited love to rival Ducky from "Pretty in Pink" if Ducky were an awkward, chubby nerd with a penchant for tailored size 14 business suit). Honestly, this time I was committed to writing, or so I tell myself, when Dear Husband decided the water he was drinking would be much happier on my keyboard than in his cup. When the bottom row of letters don't register, it makes typing kind of difficult. So that's why I haven't typed. We need to by me another computer or a tablet with a keyboard attachment but technology scares both of us and our knowledge of anything pertaining to technology ended long about Windows 7. So if you have a good laptop circa 2007 you're trying to get rid of, I'm your girl! Today I needed an outlet as, besides the infrequent playdates with other mothers, my normal adult "conversation" is restricted to blogging and awkwardly long conversations with the person checking us out at the store where in my attempts to prolong adult conversation, I'm making the cashier at Fred Meyer obviously uncomfortable. I'm using the husband's work computer so if you get bored half-way through or my sentences seem incredibly long, it's not me but the computer sucking up all of his attorney nonsense through osmosis.
So anyway, whats been going on with the girls you ask? Well. We have entered the precious, treasured time of parents and children around the world: The Terrible Twos. It's not really fair to say we're just entering it as Ans is an exceptionally bright little girl and meets most of her benchmarks early. She's been exhibiting signs of the terrible twos for a few months now, even though she technically only turned two a couple of weeks ago. The soundtrack of my life is one long constant whine.
Track one: Miiiiiick-eeeeeey Moooouuussee!
Track Two: Piiiiiiiiiin-ceeeeeeeeeeeeeet (princess)!
Track Three: Nooooooooooooooooooooooo!
Track Four: No! No! Noooooooooooooooo!
Track Five: Mooooooooommmmm! No, mom! No!
You know I love my Big Girl and she does do precious things but they tend to be overshadowed by the constant whining, one-upping of her sister and the inexplicable need she has to vehemently protest any kind of personal hygiene ritual. Potty-training, washing her hair and brushing her teeth all elicit a similar reaction to what I imagine prisoners at Gitmo have when being waterboarded.
On the other hand, Little Girl is turning into something of a rock star and by "rock star" I mean someone I'm actually starting to enjoy. It has been only in the last month or so of her baby life that I have actually liked my youngest daughter. Sorry, Line but you have not been an easy baby. I love you, always, but loving you and enjoying being in the same room with you are two different things. A lot of that has to do with the fact that her bottom teeth finally poked through (only about 14 more to go!) and she is kind of sleeping through the night. I mean, I don't wanna jinx anything but the past 3 or 4 nights we've put her down at 8 and she's slept til almost 7. Also, she has weaned!!!! I know a lot of crunchy granola moms out there would love to tell me that babies can't self-wean before a year old but, with all due respect, my pediatrician explicitly told me in American kids tend to self-wean between the ages of 9 and 12 months. So I know you've read SO much about it, but I'm gonna trust the man who has been practicing pediatrics for 30 years over your tireless internet research. Line is also half me, so true to form she has turned her nose up at baby food and formula and eats her food solid and takes her dairy neat. It amazes me how much food that kid can pack away with just two teeth. It makes me think that I might actually have to go back to work at some point just so we can keep our delicate flowers stocked in food!
Anyway, with all this progress she has made in transforming into a great kid (shes also crawling and smiling and clapping and blowing raspberries like the poster baby for cuteness) she is currently my favorite.
**I just had to pause because Ans ripped our carbon monoxide detector out of the wall. What a peach.**
Anyway, ripping carbon monoxide detectors out of the wall and precious baby sister aside, I'm sure my loyalties will switch back to Ans soon. I think my favoritism is directly linked to the amount of sleep I get and which kid is responsible for waking me up at night. I'd love it if someone could explain to me the biology/chemistry/physics/evil-voodoo magic that allows my children to communicate while they sleep so that it is a sure bet one of them always wakes me up and doesn't allow me to get a full nights sleep. Last night it was Ans's turn and when she woke up at midnight, she would not calm down until she was in our bed and had me sandwiched between her and Husband. I thought I might suffocate. All this to say that one child is never my favorite for too long...
**Now Line is tapping the thing. We just bought a house and moved in recently and I'm wondering the intelligence of some of the decisions of the prior owners. Carbon monoxide detector by the dining table that can be easily plugged and unplugged??? Really?? Is this normal? And if it is, have I been putting my life in the hands of crappy landlords for the last decade? Never have I seen one of these prior to buying this house.**
Anyway, I can tell I'm about to have to go and save them from themselves, I just wanted to post because it'd been a while...
**Baby is ripping decorative bowls off the bottom shelf of dining room corner stand***
...and all three of you probably missed these updates.
Okay, gonna stop neglecting my kids now.
So anyway, whats been going on with the girls you ask? Well. We have entered the precious, treasured time of parents and children around the world: The Terrible Twos. It's not really fair to say we're just entering it as Ans is an exceptionally bright little girl and meets most of her benchmarks early. She's been exhibiting signs of the terrible twos for a few months now, even though she technically only turned two a couple of weeks ago. The soundtrack of my life is one long constant whine.
Track one: Miiiiiick-eeeeeey Moooouuussee!
Track Two: Piiiiiiiiiin-ceeeeeeeeeeeeeet (princess)!
Track Three: Nooooooooooooooooooooooo!
Track Four: No! No! Noooooooooooooooo!
Track Five: Mooooooooommmmm! No, mom! No!
You know I love my Big Girl and she does do precious things but they tend to be overshadowed by the constant whining, one-upping of her sister and the inexplicable need she has to vehemently protest any kind of personal hygiene ritual. Potty-training, washing her hair and brushing her teeth all elicit a similar reaction to what I imagine prisoners at Gitmo have when being waterboarded.
On the other hand, Little Girl is turning into something of a rock star and by "rock star" I mean someone I'm actually starting to enjoy. It has been only in the last month or so of her baby life that I have actually liked my youngest daughter. Sorry, Line but you have not been an easy baby. I love you, always, but loving you and enjoying being in the same room with you are two different things. A lot of that has to do with the fact that her bottom teeth finally poked through (only about 14 more to go!) and she is kind of sleeping through the night. I mean, I don't wanna jinx anything but the past 3 or 4 nights we've put her down at 8 and she's slept til almost 7. Also, she has weaned!!!! I know a lot of crunchy granola moms out there would love to tell me that babies can't self-wean before a year old but, with all due respect, my pediatrician explicitly told me in American kids tend to self-wean between the ages of 9 and 12 months. So I know you've read SO much about it, but I'm gonna trust the man who has been practicing pediatrics for 30 years over your tireless internet research. Line is also half me, so true to form she has turned her nose up at baby food and formula and eats her food solid and takes her dairy neat. It amazes me how much food that kid can pack away with just two teeth. It makes me think that I might actually have to go back to work at some point just so we can keep our delicate flowers stocked in food!
Anyway, with all this progress she has made in transforming into a great kid (shes also crawling and smiling and clapping and blowing raspberries like the poster baby for cuteness) she is currently my favorite.
**I just had to pause because Ans ripped our carbon monoxide detector out of the wall. What a peach.**
Anyway, ripping carbon monoxide detectors out of the wall and precious baby sister aside, I'm sure my loyalties will switch back to Ans soon. I think my favoritism is directly linked to the amount of sleep I get and which kid is responsible for waking me up at night. I'd love it if someone could explain to me the biology/chemistry/physics/evil-voodoo magic that allows my children to communicate while they sleep so that it is a sure bet one of them always wakes me up and doesn't allow me to get a full nights sleep. Last night it was Ans's turn and when she woke up at midnight, she would not calm down until she was in our bed and had me sandwiched between her and Husband. I thought I might suffocate. All this to say that one child is never my favorite for too long...
**Now Line is tapping the thing. We just bought a house and moved in recently and I'm wondering the intelligence of some of the decisions of the prior owners. Carbon monoxide detector by the dining table that can be easily plugged and unplugged??? Really?? Is this normal? And if it is, have I been putting my life in the hands of crappy landlords for the last decade? Never have I seen one of these prior to buying this house.**
Anyway, I can tell I'm about to have to go and save them from themselves, I just wanted to post because it'd been a while...
**Baby is ripping decorative bowls off the bottom shelf of dining room corner stand***
...and all three of you probably missed these updates.
Okay, gonna stop neglecting my kids now.
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