Joys of a Twin Pregnancy: Part Two

This pregnancy keeps getting more and more fun. I have decided not only should there be block on all medical websites (I'm looking at you, WebMD) on pregnant ladies computers, but the Google search function should be disabled altogether. Every time I go on that sucker and type in "___ Weeks Pregnant Identical Twins" the first 12 hits are some variation of "I delivered my identical twins at __ weeks." Thanks, but no thanks. Don't get me wrong, I'm all for not being pregnant anymore, but at this point the babies would have some serious health issues to overcome if they were born now. Not to mention the nearest NICU is about an hour and a half away from my house and my two girls...not an ideal situation to say the least. The earliest the kids could be delivered locally and potentially get to stay here would be at about 36 weeks, or January 5th. So maybe if we all visualize that date in our minds, that's what we'll make it to! While we're at it, let's also visualize a healthy, uncomplicated, easy labor and delivery. And what the hey, while we're visualizing, let's all think of a 7 layer chocolate cake a la mode, resting beautifully on my dining table. Let's work on that last one first, shall we?


Besides all the positive, feel=good stories out there about delivering 10 weeks early, there is also the uninvited commentary from strangers at the store/on the sidewalk/any place my feet touch the ground. This weekend I was in line at Fred Meyers and a lady smiled knowingly at me and asked when I was due.

"January."

Her face dropped. "Are you having twins?!"

"Actually, yea."

"Oh, good! You look like you're about to pop."

Thanks, lady. Way to ruin my impression that I looked like a supermodel.

Or then while we were trick-or-treating I go this from another pregnant lady (clearly, someone who should know better).

"Oh, looks like another November baby!"

"January actually, but they're twins so yea, I look about 9 months pregnant."

Again, her face fell. Then she looked to my one and two year old and goes, "Ugh, twins! How are you going to manage that?! That'd be terrible. I couldn't manage."

Thank you.

But there is a plus side to the size too. A lot of times, after people have picked their jaw up off of the floor, they say something like, "Wow, for having twins you look great!" Looking past the ovbious qualification that I look like crap if I was only pregnant with one baby, they say this like I'm supposed to be housing a small contingent of Russian circus performers under my enormous girth. Granted,  Line will sometimes disappear for a few minutes only to surface from under my "bump," but I'm pretty sure I'm not gonna have to register my gut in its own zipcode before this pregnancy is all said and done.

I hope.

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